Monday, 3 May 2010

Irish Medical Dictionary





The Irish have a low stress rate
because they do not take medical
terminology seriously.
You are going to grow old anyway,
so live life.

Irish Medical Dictionary
Artery......................The study of paintings
Bacteria....................Back door to cafeteria
Barium......................What doctors do when patients die
Benign.......................What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section.......A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan....................Searching for Kitty
Cauterize...................Made eye contact with her
Colic..........................A sheep dog
Coma........................A punctuation mark
Dilate........................To live long
Enema........................Not a friend
Fester........................ Quicker than someone else
Fibula........................A small lie
Impotent....................Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain.................Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff.................A Doctor's cane
Morbid.......................A higher offer
Nitrates......................Cheaper than day rates
Node..........................I knew it
Outpatient....................A person who has fainted
Pelvis.........................Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative..............A letter carrier
Recovery Room............Place to do upholstery
Rectum.......................Nearly killed him
Secretion......................Hiding something
Seizure.......................Roman emperor
Tablet.........................A small table
Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the airport
Tumor.........................One plus one more
Urine..........................Opposite of you're out 

Thanks to Jan Williams

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