Oh Dear

IDIOT SIGHTING #1.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the server a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a 20 pence piece. She said, 'You gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so and he handed me back the 20 pence and said, 'We're sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.'
The server then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.
Do not confuse the staff at MacDonald's.

IDIOT SIGHTING #2.

Happened in Moor Park, near Watford. We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a moment, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a ½ horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a ¼ horsepower.'
I responded that ½ was larger than ¼ and he said, ’Nooo, it's not. Four is larger than two.’
We haven't used GARADOR since.

IDIOT SIGHTING #3.

I live in Potters Bar, Hertfordshire, a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the highways department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

IDIOT SIGHTING #4.

My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken in South Oxhey, Hertfordshire,and ordered a Taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg Lettuce.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5.

I was at Luton Airport airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

IDIOT SIGHTING #6.

The traffic light on the corner buzzes when it's on red and safe to cross the road. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a Local County Council employee in Harrow, Middlesex.

IDIOT SIGHTING #7.

When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer in St Albans, Hertfordshire, to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the mechanic, 'its open!'
His reply: 'I know. I already did that side.'

h/t Estelle