Jesus wept

Craig taking me to the funeral in his 4x4

I was snowed in today and so the funeral director kindly offered to pick me up and take me to the crematorium. The funeral was so sad. At most funerals I find myself choking back the tears at some point, but this was the first one where I had tears flowing down my face. It was the tribute that got to me. And then I preached the sermon. In it was the phrase:

We weep, just as Jesus himself wept at the death of his friend Lazarus. 

And I know it was me who wrote the sermon and furthermore I had read it through several times, but it was only as I stood there with wet eyes in a room with others weeping that I realised God really does weep with us, that is how close God is to us, that is how much God cares.

Day in the Life of a Curate 2

Today has been mostly concerned with a funeral, speaking to the undertakers, doing a visit, planning the service and writing the sermon. I have also put together a rota for our all age services over the next three months and done my expenses for the month (didn't include the duck house).

The most difficult thing for me since I have been ordained is the becoming aware of so much pain and suffering. It takes my breath away at times and I often find myself in tears either after the funeral visit or when writing the Eulogy and quite often I have to fight off the tears during the service. There seems no way to insulate myself from the suffering I find around me and so now I just bear it as part of the job. I don't know whether it gets easier with time.

Some funeral sermons are easier to write than others. In the tragic cases my computer seems to shout at me 'How could this have happened? Explain it!' And my response is 'I don't know, but I wish it hadn't!' It is then I suppose a question of writing a sermon that says that, in softer words, perhaps.

Funnily enough, though, I love doing funerals. It feels like an honour to be at such an important time in people's lives, and to somehow hold people in the service so that they grieve and say and do symbolic things to express their love and their sorrow.