It is odd that in a job that involves being with people that being a vicar can be so lonely. I am sure my friends in the parish would be horrified to think that in such a friendly and welcoming place I could feel this way. I reflected on this and I think it is that for many of us we came from jobs were we had daily access to people in the same situation as us, doctors have others in the surgery, lecturers have others in the department, but for vicars there can be days without meeting colleagues. My brother told me that being a Managing Director is also lonely. There is only one, and on the way up there were other department heads to sympathise with, but as MD you are alone.
So perhaps loneliness for many is about not being fully understood. There are many situations like this, how can you understand losing a child until you have lost one, or divorce, or abortion, or addiction, or abuse. The list is endless and now I think about it I can see the loneliness in the eyes of folks who try to explain to me things I can never fully understand.
I want to finish with a true story of someone called Tom who began to understand what it is like to be a vicar. Tom went to a fancy dress party and borrowed a clerical shirt and dog collar from a vicar friend. The next day he brought it back with the words 'you can keep it, I want nothing to do with that'. The vicar was startled and asked what had happened. It transpired that before the party Tom had gone to the pub in the fancy dress. An old man had sat next to Tom at the table and poured out the sadness and difficultly that was in his life. Tom didn't have the heart to stop him and so for that half an hour he was that man's priest. He then went to the party which didn't go very well and after an hour the host told him to get rid of the outfit, he was spoiling the event for the rest of his friends.
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